同行見證

- A tribute to Mrs. Xiuqin Z. Xu

Health is important. Even a slight ailment can throw a person off balance and sap his energy. Mrs. Xiuqin Z. Xu was an elderly lady who was terminally ill, but nevertheless was able to persevere and still shared with others the Gospel with a sense of urgency. She only hoped that more would be saved, and that the remaining days of her life would be used to serve the God whom she loved. Not even cancer slowed her down.

Mrs. Xu was born in a small town in Southern China. Ten years after she got married, she took her young children to the provincial capital, Guangzhou, to join her husband where he was assigned to work. Her daughter Bin remembered her as a capable, hard-working and gentle mother, affectionately and meticulously caring for her children and family, sparing no effort in doing her best to be a model mother.

In May of 2010, Mrs. Xu was diagnosed as having terminal pancreatic cancer. Her children all lived either out of state or out of the country. Bin therefore called the Herald Cancer Care, requesting a caregiver be assigned to her to provide support.

Herald Cancer Care’s coordinator Ernest Lam recalled, “I was very privileged to talk to Mrs. Xu on the phone, in an effort to understand her needs. What struck me was how peaceful she was, showing not a trace of fear or sense of helplessness or hopelessness, which is so typical of cancer patients we intake. I had a most wonderful long conversation with her.” Ernest recalled further that Mrs. Xu faced her deadly adversary with peace and hope, with her love for life undiminished. She was full of thanksgiving for her loving relationship with her God. “It was quite evident to me that she knew her God.” Ernest commented.

There was nothing unusual or dramatic about Mrs. Xu’s coming to know Christ. It was a progression, starting from being introduced to the Christian Faith by Bin. After a period of searching and praying, Mrs. Xu and her husband independently put their trust in Jesus and were both baptized in 1996, testifying their joy of being born again.

Bin continued to recall, “My mother was not that much into His Word initially, but after my father’s passing two years later, she became serious in studying the Bible, regretting not doing it sooner. Her diligence paid off, motivating her to make very good progress. She even took discipleship training.”

Mrs. Xu routinely cared for others, constantly praying and petitioning for them. It was shocking to everyone when she was diagnosed as having the very same kind of cancer as her late husband. She did not want to be a burden to her children and voluntarily asked to be moved to a nursing home.

“Normally, most seniors would be dragged to a nursing home kicking and screaming. Mrs. Xu was a conspicuous exception.” Ernest observed. “She was not thinking of herself. She was thinking of the opportunity this would open up for her to share what she referred to as ‘Jesus stories’ to other seniors there. It was not about her, but about the salvation of others. She gladly offered herself to serve God.”

Nora Chung was the Herald Cancer Care volunteer assigned to be Mrs. Xu’s caregiver. She recalled that the nursing home we had in mind for her was full, but somehow, an opening came up and we were able to get her in. “Mrs. Xu was convinced that it was the grace of God.” Nora recalled. She felt that if this opportunity had so obviously come from God, she needed to seize it and help the elderly residents to know God.

Though her health was deteriorating, and the pain caused by cancer was obvious, she pushed forward everyday, seizing every opportunity to get the Good News out, caring and praying for others. She even got together with some staff to study the Bible. She was proactive in greeting visitors and sharing her testimony with them.

Nora observed, “It may not be very obvious to people, but if you were to observe closely, you would notice that she was in great pain in her lower abdomen, always holding a heating pad to ease the pain. However, there was never any moaning and groaning, and never any complaint.” God was sustaining her.

Mrs. Xu was in the nursing home for a few weeks, during which her love of life and her faith in God impressed many residents, and brought hope to them. Although she departed in the same month to be in the bosom of her Heavenly Father, she left behind a glorious testimony that lifted up the spirit of everyone who would listen to her story. Ernest concludes that just as the writer of Hebrews wrote about Abraham, the same may be said about Mrs. Xu, that “by faith she being dead yet speaketh.”

The saying, “When it rains, it pours.” aptly described the calamities landing on my family. In April 2008, I was diagnosed to have early stage cancer. Two days later, my father was found to have brain cancer, with an inoperable tumor. No treatment was available to him, and he was left to die. Shortly after being admitted to the hospital, he lost his mobility, and had difficulty swallowing his food. He passed away only two months later. During that time, I underwent two operations, but did not have to endure any other treatments. In my weakened state, I still had to go to the hospital every day to care for my dying father. Those were indeed very challenging days for me. I was thankful that Herald Cancer Care sent volunteer Suki to visit and care for me. She prayed for me and gave me encouragement. What moved me deeply was when Suki knelt at the bedside of my father to pray for him. Her praying from the heart touched me. I told her more than once that when I regained my health, I would join her to be a cancer care volunteer. I had come to know what it meant to receive care during tough times. God’s love was reflected through His servants at Herald Cancer Care. I was encouraged and strengthened, and I want to share that kind of love with those who need it.

God was merciful in healing me. Deep inside, I know that it was God’s grace. The right thing for me to do is to reciprocate that love with my action. In October of the same year, I received the volunteer training of Herald Cancer Care and began my caring service.

The family I am currently caring for happens to have a father and a daughter both suffering from cancer. I am partnering with another volunteer to visit them, listen to them, and offer emotional and spiritual support to them. Through this caring process, the father was transformed from an isolated person not wanting to communicate with others to one who enjoyed our visits and opened up to talk to us. His wife watched the “Showers of Blessing” broadcast and was moved by the stories in the program. She requested our prayers for the family. This elderly couple even started to pray together mornings and evenings asking for peace from God. Their daughter was healed from her cancer. The couple made a decision to accept Jesus as their Savior. The father was recently admitted to a convalescent hospital. Our visits filled him with peace and happiness. I truly wish that all cancer patients who suffer physically and emotionally may be drawn to God to be blessed with the same blessing of peace and protection.

Recovering from my own illness, I have come to experience much of God’s grace. I have also come to realize the true meaning and value of my life. God has revealed to me that:

Life is like a candle, bringing light to others, at the expense of losing itself

Life is like salt, seasoning others while giving up itself

What a beautiful life it is to be light and salt. I truly feel that all my fellow volunteers of Herald Cancer Care are like candles and salt, bringing God’s caring and warmth to many cancer patients in the Bay Area.

Faced with the life-threatening disease of cancer, most people will be overcome with fear and helplessness, but there are a few exceptional patients who find love and new meaning of life despite this adversity. Such is the testimony of 77 year-old Mr. Kuo Li.

Mr. Li is from Toisan, China. He met his wife in college while studying chemical engineering. They both graduated and served in the Beijing Chemical Engineering Plant in the Technical Cadre. They had children and raised a family, living a comfortable life. In 1997, China opened up to the outside world, and Mr. Li took advantage of the opportunity to emigrate with the family to Hong Kong, seeking a better life for the family. After running a family business for seven years, he took the family to San Francisco. Despite being in a foreign land and unfamiliar environment, Mr. Li managed to provide for the family. Then in 2007 during a routine physical checkup, he was diagnosed to have stage 2 lung cancer.

“I don’t drink and I don’t smoke, and I always maintain a positive attitude to work hard.” Mr. Li recalled how he reacted to this bad news. “I felt that it was very unfair for me to have this disease. But what could I do but to follow the orders of the doctor.”

In Jan 11, 2008 Mr. Li went through surgery and underwent chemotherapy. Side effects of the treatments caused him to lose his hair. He began to feel very depressed. To make it worse, he lost his appetite. However, he did not feel sorry for himself. He kept up with his positive attitude to face his illness. The main reason why he was able to do so was because of the power of love.

“I was not expecting much, but Mr. Lam (Herald Cancer Care coordinator) reached out to me.” Mr. Li recalled. “He cared for me and helped me unconditionally. I had never experienced such love from a total stranger in my life.”

Mr. Li did have some prior knowledge of the Christian faith. He had been invited to church meetings, but often found them to be dry and uninteresting. His atheistic background growing up in Communist China also biased his thinking, quenching any desire to know anything about God. Nevertheless, the unconditional caring he received began to change his thinking.

“Joe (Herald Cancer Care volunteer) took me to the meetings in his church.” Mr. Li said, “I felt different this time, possibly because of my cancer condition and needed the support of others. I felt very much at home going to church, and I enjoyed talking to people and listening to them talking about their faith.” Although he did not make a decision to accept this new faith, he continued to receive the caring and love of his new Christian friends.

“On Dec. 28, 2009, I woke up at a little after 5 am and could not go back to sleep. I thought of the caring I received from the church and how it has helped me.” Mr. Li remembered. “I decided that I might as well open my heart to receive Jesus. In making this decision, I also write a poem to commemorate the occasion. When I told Joe about it, he was overjoyed.”

Mr. Li was baptized on July 12, 2009, and continued attending the Friday night fellowship as well as the Sunday worship service regularly. He wrote another poem to honor his church:

Bathing in the grace of Jesus,

I joyfully receive the love of Christ,

Lights are turned on while dusk is approaching,

And I found myself bathed in the warmth of my fellow men.

Washed away are my sins as testified by my baptism,

My eternal life is now assured through my faith in the Lord.

Serving henceforth with God’s people,

How sweet are the fruits of our labor.

The doctor discovered recently that Mr. Li has cancer metastasized to his brain, but due to his suppressed immunity caused by radiation therapy, he can only receive oral chemotherapy to control the disease. Despite this setback, Mr. Li has peace and hope, not fear or resentment.

“I hand over my trouble to God, and do not dwell on it.” Mr. Li said. “I have faith that God will take good care of me.”

I praise God for the opportunity to share mom’s life closely in the last few months of her life – to witness first hand her trust in our Lord. Mom often told me that receiving Jesus as Savior had brought her the most joy and peace. Praise the Lord, in 2003 she converted from a Buddhist, whose source of pride was her good deeds, to a humble Christian who longs to server and glorify God.

Her trust in the Lord came to a trial earlier this year when she came down with gallbladder cancer despite of the fact that she lived a disciplined “proper” life, ate a careful diet and exercised daily. Many, including her questioned WHY? It was a difficult blow to her; however, she never doubted that our heavenly Father loved her and would give her nothing but the best. She knew her life was completely in God’s hands and she lived each day by faith and drew strength from the Lord. She prayed, read the Bible, and often sang hymns to praise God. Sometimes she cried, but she reassured me those were not tears of sadness but rather tears of gratitude when she counted God’s innumerable blessings in her life. God’s Word comforted and encouraged her, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” (Psalm 23:4).

Had it not been obedience and encouragement from the Bible, “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.” (2 Corinthians 4:16), she would not have agreed to undergo chemotherapy which would make her hair fall off (for those who knew mom, she never had a “bad hair day”). Yet God is faithful – despite her hair thinning out quite a bit after 3 months of chemotherapy, she still looked gracious with sufficient hair. One and a half weeks prior to her return to heaven, I was sad to see the shedding of so much of her hair, yet mom comforted me and reminded me of our Lord’s promise: "And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered." (Matthew 10:30). She told me not to worry – God is taking care of her.

Although we miss her presence, we are comforted by God’s promise of eternal life with Him. The Bible says, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?" (John 11:25-26). Mom believed! And God revealed to her a glimpse of heaven: About one week prior to her passing, mom had a huge smile on her face, one that I have not seen since she fell ill. She told me with such deep joy that God answered her prayer by showing her an extremely colorful and beautiful world; it was lovelier than the fanciest place she had ever visited.

That angelic smile told us she experienced true peace, an inexplicable peace that could only be brought by God. Even though she was dying, through Christ, she has conquered death! Yes, she has departed from this earth physically, but she is forever with our Lord. She hopes that one day all her non-Christian family/friends will also receive the gift of eternal life through Jesus, because she wants to see all of us in heaven!

The bad news hit me like a lightning on a peaceful uneventful day. During a routine physical checkup last October, the doctor announced that he discovered cancer in my body. I was advised to go through a ten-hour operation that included a special procedure of administering chemotherapy inside my body. It was to be a complex and intricate procedure even the feasibility of which was to be confirmed with a specialist. I was totally unprepared for this, and the news caused my emotion to plunge. I felt quite helpless. My emotion started a roller coaster of a journey for the next several days until I finally was ready to accept the reality. I braced myself to face the surgical treatment. I even made plans in case I did not make it through the operation.

It was at that juncture that I recalled reading somewhere that Herald Cancer Care offered the caring service for cancer patients. I called them to see if they could help me. My thoughts were filled with worries about what might happen to my wife and my children should I succumb to cancer. Who would take care of them? What was going to happen to me? Is my life going to just evaporate into the thin air? Am I totally out of control of my own destiny? I received a call from a volunteer who invited me to go to his house. He listened to my situation and shared with me his experiences and counseled me to calm down my fears. He also addressed some of my questions on practical issues facing my treatment. He told me that he is a Christian, and offered to pray for me. I agreed, and he prayed for me on the spot.

On my way home, I felt very cared for, and I felt very grateful for this volunteer’s caring for me. I was eager to know if God actually heard his prayer for me. Another Herald Cancer Care volunteer came to my house the next day to visit me. I asked him if I could go to church with him and he agreed. I started going to church with him. There the other members were very caring, and they prayed for me. I even started to learn to pray for myself. Every time when I went to church, or when I prayed, I felt I had joy and peace inside.

At the consultation, the specialist assured me that the operation was feasible and I was scheduled for the procedure. I was very glad for the decision that there was hope for a cure. I also knew that many Christian friends were praying for me. Moreover, I knew that the Lord would be with me to take me through the operation. When I was wheeled into the operation room, my heart was filled with peace, hope and faith. The operation went as planned. I came out of the anesthesia in an hour still hooked up with tubes, but I felt fine, like waking up from a long sleep. The operation was deemed successful and my recovery came along really well. After my recuperation, I resumed going to church, participating in worship services, reading the Bible and in praying.

God continued to watch over me to care for me. I asked God to guide me to a more experienced doctor to consult on the matter receiving post-operation chemotherapy. He opened the door for me to get an appointment with an experienced oncologist who actually advised me to skip the debilitating procedure, sparing me from a lot of suffering. Through this, I really experienced that this God is real and He is a living God. I am eternally grateful for the Christians who led me to know God. I am deeply grateful for their caring and for their personal testimonies assuring me the truth of placing my faith in Jesus Christ. I thank God for granting His power and His love to even me. I only regret that I did not come to God sooner to start living a fuller life, but the Lord did not pass me by. The moment I repented and was willing to accept Him, He was there for me and took me in. I am willing to devote the rest of my life to following the Lord and be forever thankful.